i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
