We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Randomize
