If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
