If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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