We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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