And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
