Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
