Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
