yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
