so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
