I could make wine with my vomit
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
