puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
