the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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