okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
