Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
