Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Enjoy the penises
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
