I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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