Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
