If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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