I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
