let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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