her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
