Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There r osticjed everywhere
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
