Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
