Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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