Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
