Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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