If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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