I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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