dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
