He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize