I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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