You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
