I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
