Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
