the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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