I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
