When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
