You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
