the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
