My nipple is on Facebook.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
