Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
