btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
