I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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