i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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