I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
