This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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