I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
