Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
