you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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