We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize